D3 body, D1 cock
your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
