I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Randomize
