oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
why didn't you poke me back
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Randomize
