toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
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