Soap is not a condiment
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Randomize
