I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Randomize
