I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
