Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
I just want to make out with him forever
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
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