none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
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