just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
