I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
only if we run a train.
done.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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