1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
