this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
A+ Viking dick
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