I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
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