im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
