Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
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