He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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