Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
