What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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