Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Randomize
