I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
My vagina just recognized that song.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
