Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
