Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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