Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize
