And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
