dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
