That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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