Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
im six kinds of drunk right now
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Randomize
