still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
He's on the porch naked. Help.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize
