how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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