she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Randomize
