420 ftw
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
Come share oat with me in your robe
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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