can we get nightvision for the apartment?
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
Randomize
