I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
