It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Randomize
