Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
I wannas sexs uuuuu
Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
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