Got a toothbrush?
I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Randomize
