i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
I wish you could order shots online.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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