We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Randomize
