A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
