Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
