3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Randomize
