I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
