So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
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