I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
