So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Randomize
