im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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