she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Randomize
