My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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