I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
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