So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
